rear-ended

now those of you who know me well know about my profound, deep-rooted and probably quite irrational preoccupation for the hind quarters of the female of the species. there are various words that can be used to describe the derrière, not half of which begin to convey the beauty and emotion that cause a stirring within me when my eyes come to rest on a curvilicious rear end..

right. that was probably too much info.

the other day, and i don't know how exactly, i read the word 'asphyxiation' somewhere and for some reason i made the connection with the word 'ass-fixation', like millions of men must have before me. upon further contemplation i realised that there could be more middle ground between the two words, especially if you are into face-sitting, smothering, femdom and other related genres of porn.. hehe!

thanks to the wonderful world of google, i will not need to post any links for any of the things i described here.. feel free to go online and find whatever turns you on!

If I were..

.. easy, I'd blog a tag ages after I had stopped writing proper posts. So here I am.

If I were a month I would be: June, carrying the hope of spring and the promise of summer - yeah right!

If I were a day of the week I would be: Saturday night baby!

If I were a time of day I would be: 11pm, the time i'm either fast asleep or at the peak of my creativity.

If I were a planet I would be: Uranus.. lol, that was too easy. Probably Mars, like Earth, but not quite.

If I were an animal I would be: a lion.. lazy as f*ck but when things need to get done they get done.

If I were a direction I would be: going down. Yes.

If I were a liquid I would be: beer. Vatfuls of the stuff.

If I were a flower/plant I would be: barley or hops, going with the beer theme.

If I were a kind of weather I would be: sunny yet breezy, like the Northeast spring.

If I were a musical instrument I would be: a rusty trombone. UrbanDictionary that one up!

If I were an emotion I would be: empathy - i usually look out for the others of the species, but i do NOT "suffer fools gladly" (2 Corinthians 11:19)

If I were a color I would be: Pepsi blue baby, look at what i put up with and yet go back to work every day.

If I were a sound I would be: a fart! hahah!

If I were a car I would be: the Ford Mustang Shelby GT500KR

If I were a song I would be: Mad Season's 'Long Gone Day'

If I were a food I would be: thick-cut steak, grilled medium-rare with mashed potatoes

If I were a taste I would be: see above!

If I were a scent I would be: Old Spice underarm deo.

If I were a word I would be: awesome.

If I were a facial expression I would be: a raised eyebrow.

If I were a number I would be: 665, just a little short of the devil himself.

If I were a cartoon character I would be: Animal from The Muppet Show.

2008 in review

January -
- went down to Florida for the annual office off-site meeting

February -
- the boss quit and i stepped into his role

March -
- Spring Break in New Orleans

April -
- the gf graduated with her second undergrad degree

May -
- blog's third anniversary

June -
- gf left on a 6-month trip

July -
- nothing eminently bloggable

August -
- new boss started, went back to my old position

September -
- started the MS program in Project Management at Boston University

October -
- it's pretty sad if your highlight of the month is the beginning of the hockey/NHL season

November -
- went to Colorado on a work trip

December -
- return to sanity, the gf is back

the last time you..

Injured yourself
nicks, cuts, grazes, bruises and burns are unfortunately a way of life for me at work.. maintenance is not easy. i think i have been lucky enough to avoid serious injury so far though

Were in love
right about now would be one.. have been for the last year plus

Were violent
not since i stopped playing competitive sport, back in undergrad. if it was a contact sport, i always tended to emphasize on the contact part of things, and it wasn't the love-tap kind of contact either, heh

Drank too much
define too much! i would say too much is when you have such a big hangover that it has a small hangover of it's own. that would probably be a few weeks ago, when two beers led to two more, which led to two whiskeys, and led to two more..

Experienced bliss
bliss for me is when i get at least 8 hours uninterrupted sleep, alcohol-and-cough-syrup-induced or otherwise.. unfortunately, in my line of work that is as rare as a smart yet slutty blonde

Did something you shouldn't have
see above entry about 'drank too much'!

Created art
pretty much every time i cook

Surprised someone
my bosses every other day, when they find out how much i know about my job and how well i have things under control

Went somewhere fancy
a few months ago, at the gf's graduation party.. it was a classy steakhouse the kind of which i will never be able to afford - $48 for a porterhouse steak?! luckily her folks were buying ;-)

Bought something expensive
yesterday - it's a gadget, of course.. but i won't say what it is here cos i know the gf is going to be reading this!

Played a practical joke on someone
i'm a prankster, i live for gags.. a couple of days ago one of my colleagues had started his car up to warm up and went back inside.. so i jumped in and parked his car at the other end of the parking lot. he spent a while looking for his car, and was about ready to call the cops before we all burst out laughing..

Felt nervous in someone's company
nahh, i'm not the nervous type.

Felt beautiful
erm?

Felt unattractive
again, erm?

Threw a party
that's been a really really long time. i think the last party i threw was when i was back in Buffalo, our farewell there, almost two years ago!

Were the centre of attention
that has got to be every monday morning at work, cos every effin' person with a radio is hollering at me about some shit or the other. monday mornings are not good at startup, so i always keep my appointment book clear.

Felt betrayed
when my ex-boss crapped all over my annual review. he quit, i'm still here, and even did his job for six months. so guess who won eh?

Lied
all the time. i might be lying now about that too. am i?

Were scared
i don't scare too easy, but i do avoid horror movies with kids in them

Felt glad to be you
all the time. if i made more money and had more time off i'd be even gladder to be me.. but hey, we'll get there!

book-smart

i got this tag off Kfarmer.. name the books that made you..

A book that made you laugh: Anything by P. G. Wodehouse
A book that made you cry: The IITians - Sandipan Deb (only cos it reminded of good ol' college days!)
A book that scared you: Cujo - Stephen King
A book that disgusted you: Godplayer - Robin Cook
A book you loved in elementary school: William - Richmal Crompton
A book you loved in middle school or junior high school: The Hardy Boys - Franklin W. Dixon, closely beating out Alfred Hitchcock & The 3 Investigators - Robert Arthur
A book you loved in high school: Louis L'amour - the Sackett series
A book you loved in college: the Bill Bryson travel series
A book that challenged your identity: The God of Small Things - Arundhati Roy
A series that you love: The Willard Price animal adventures
Your favorite horror book: Needful Things - Stephen King
Your favorite science fiction book: Prey - Michael Crichton
Your favorite fantasy: The Hobbit - J.R.R. Tolkien (wait, did you mean sexual fantasy?? hmm..)
Your favorite mystery: Alistair Maclean
Your favorite spy thriller: Fist of God - Frederick Forsyth
Your favorite biography: Immediate Action - Andy McNab
Your favorite "coming of age" book: How to Win Friends & Influence People - Dale Carnegie
Your favorite classic: Huckleberry Finn - Mark Twain or Treasure Island - R. L. Stevenson
Your favorite romance book: now when you say romance and mean Mills & Boon type thing, then y'know i don't read those.. but the closest in that category i can think of is 'The Godfather' - Mario Puzo.. c'mon, you know you've opened Pg. 27 where Sonny is groping Lucy Mancini at the wedding!!

here's a "huh?!" moment

so your girl gives you a hard time cos you stare at some babe's plump rear end for too long when she's prancing on tv, or cos you spent way too much time with last month's Playboy in the bathroom..

yet with her girlfriends she'll be giggling away about who has a yummy butt and which friend's boyfriend she would just love to make out with?

well, wtf?

meet the parents?

did this happen to you, cos it sure happened to me!

around the bend

i'm not an alcoholic.. alcoholics go to meetings

A to Z

A. Available or taken: taken.. as taken as a KFC drive-thru

B. Best Friend: the Brownie gang

C. Cake or pie: pie pie pie.. apple pie, custard pie, rhubarb pie, bread pudding, coffee mousse, cream pie ;-) all sorts of pie - yum!

D. Drink of choice: beer

E. Essential item: three things - wallet, phone and keys

F. Favorite color: black is good

G. Gummi bears or worms: jelly babies actually

H. Hometown: Nairobi

I. Indulgence: scotch

J. January or February: January.. right in the peak of winter

K. Kids and/or names: none & nope

L. Life is incomplete without: the people and things that are around me

M. Marriage date: in another couple of years, definitely!

N. Number of siblings: none, nada

O. Oranges or apples: apples

P. Phobias/Fears: Kakorrhaphiophobia - Fear of failure or defeat, sounds bizarre eh?!

Q. Quote: "Expectations reduce joy"

R. Reason to smile: lots, you just need to look around for things that make you smile

S. Season: spring is good

T. Tag 3 / 6 people: tag yourselves!

U. Unknown fact about me: i'm lazy - no wait, you knew that. ok, i think too much. my brain is always running in overdrive, on multiple channels, which explains why i rarely sleep well.

V. Vegetable you hate: Turnips! aaargh!

W. Worst habit: being high-handed and sarcastic

X. X-rays: dental mostly

Y. Your favorite food: barbecue.. ribs, steaks, chicken, anything!

Z. Zodiac: capricorn.

Things I've Learned - Pt.6

i've spent a lot of time watching Comedy Central, most of it stand-up shows and blue collar tv.. heh! anyways, the one thing i've learned is that people will laugh at anything.

much as we harp on about political correctness, people will still laugh at retard jokes, blond jokes, racist jokes, fat jokes, everything.. and i agree with that. we gotta have a funny bone, and be able to take things with a chill pill, sit back and laugh at ourselves.

charlie chaplin said that the essence of comedy is pain - how true. someone's pain is always involved for us to have a few laughs. but we must learn to laugh at ourselves first. if anything, it'll only make you less self-conscious about things that bother you.

twenty dollar bill

aka twenty things you probably never knew about me, and will not enrich your life in any which way even after you do. enjoy, heh!

1. Pick out a scar you have and explain how you got it:
this little marvel circled in red here.. when i was ten months old i took a swan dive out of my walker, and headfirst into the gravel driveway. some things in life don't change, still heading headfirst into life.. pun intended.

2. What is on the walls of your bedroom?
absolutely nothing, the room is reserved for action elsewhere.. heh!

3. What does your phone look like?
faithful, chipped, cracked and still going strong, like it's owner

4. What music do you listen to?
rock, mostly grunge. let the picture tell the tale

5. What is your current desktop picture?
let's go Sabres!

6. What do you want more than anything right now?
to get eight hours uninterrupted sleep

7. Do you believe in gay marriages?
yeah yeah.. they'll live together anyways

8. What time were you born?
9.30 pm, when most bars start livening up. no seriously.

9. Are your parents still together?
through the proverbial thick n' thin

10. What are you listening to?
Shinedown - 'Leave A Whisper'

11. Are you afraid of the dark?
nope

12. Last person who made you cry?
the guy singing the Kenyan national anthem after he won the Boston Marathon

13. What is you favourite perfume/cologne?
no real favorites, leaning towards Old Spice though

14. What kind of hair/eye colour do you like in the opposite sex?
blondes might have more fun, but it's the brunettes who really put the 'f' in fuc.. i mean, fun.

15. Do you like painkillers?
only with alcohol. heh, i kid. or not.

16. Are you too shy to ask someone out?
not in the least (see #1 above)

17. Favourite pizza topping?
steak n' cheese

18. If you could eat anything right now, what would that be?
lemon pepper buffalo wings

19. Who's the last person who got mad at you?
the significant other

20. Is anyone in love with you?
at least she says so. then again, see #19 above.

feel free to tag yourselves

blue n' gold

in case i didn't make it abundantly clear in the previous post, this blog's new look is exclusively for the Buffalo Sabres' playoff run. the colors blue and gold have always been the traditional kit of the Sabres, and this year we're aiming for the Stanley Cup.. let's go Buffalo!

wisdom, in hindsight

wisdom is almost always garnered in the most useless way possible, i.e. after the fact.

for example the one thing i have learned about education and the part it plays in our future is that you better work hard in school. study your books, listen to your teachers, pay attention in class, do your homework and go ahead and score good grades. why is all this necessary? so that you can get a good job, cos most of the better employers out there will not even look at your resume unless you have some pretty high grades.

irony eh, me saying all this?! but it's true.. cos i feel like the foolish grasshopper who pranced and danced his way through the summer, and when winter came along he felt pretty silly. so when i get home all bleary-eyed after pulling consecutive 14-hr workdays, in my head i can see all those smart hardworking classmates of mine all well-rested, putting their feet up on their la-z-boys and laughing all the way to the bank.. you bet i feel more than a slight twinge of jealousy!

but hey, i have no regrets about how i did what i did, and how things are shaping up.. after all, it's April Fool's Day.. and the fool in me is talking to the fool in you

i got one too!

seems like everyone's doing it.. so here's me playing copy-cat..

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

and that was 2006..

Happy New Year everyone, and yes, it's annual 'catchup with s!' time again.. so if you've been hiding under a rock all year and haven't been in touch, this is me letting you know how it went.. (previous rehashes here - 2004 & 2005)

January -
- went to Detroit for a short holiday and the Auto Show
- started writing the final draft of the thesis

February -
- quit my student job at the library to focus fulltime on the thesis

March -
- went to Cleveland to watch the UB Bulls in the basketball playoffs
- finally defended my MS thesis and officially graduated

April -
- went hiking in the Allegany Mountains
- went to Boston on a short holiday, and got a job there

May -
- packed up and moved to Boston to start working at Pepsi
- went to a Pearl Jam concert, yet another long-lived dream

June -
- the soccer World Cup started
- cherry-picking season came early this year!

July -
- Italy won the World Cup!

August -
- got my first promotion at work

September -
- football season started - i'd go on to win a few hundred bucks in the office pool
- went to a Tool concert, and yet another long-lived dream

October -
- went back to Buffalo for Sank's bachelor party
- went to an Alice In Chains concert, my third dream-come-true band this year

November -
- finally got digital cable, so that i could watch my beloved Buffalo Sabres
- cooked my first full Thanksgiving dinner, what a lot of food!

December -
- first office Christmas party - acquitted myself quite well, didn't get drunk!

thank you to everyone who dropped by with birthday wishes, the good thoughts are much appreciated.. muchos gracias!

10 20 Things I Hate About You.. generally

i'm in a real mellow mood, chilled out as the week is over. i nicked this tag off Resh, figured i'd make it up to the hordes of eager readers who've been ignored for over a week.. yeah right!

YOUR MOST HATED..

BEVERAGE:
Cherry-flavored drinks. What the fuck is that about? Fresh cherries taste awesome, then why is that cherry-flavor in drinks so fucking awful?!

COLOR:
The dull grey that fills the sky in bleak winter.

TOWN/CITY:
Any place that doesn't have a soul. I need to always have a neighborhood pub around the corner, where you might still be comfortable even when surrounded by strangers. I want a local sandwich shop, where you will always be greeted with a smile and the scent of freshly toasted bread in the air. A liquor store where you can chat with the guy and ask him to recommend a wine. A gas station where you can go buy tinned fruit, whipped cream and a soft, mushy brownie at 4 a.m., and the kid behind the counter gives you a knowing grin. And like i found out yesterday, a knick-knack store a block down where an old lady greets you with a cheery Irish twanged "Top of the mornin' to ya!"

MOVIE:
No one truly makes an ending where the bad guy wins, where the good guy loses, where Average Andy and Everyday Ella end as confused, beaten and struggling as when they began.

ASPECT OF BLOGGER:
Poor grammar. Maybe it's the pedantic streak in me, but it really discourages me from reading on when people start using chat lingo (rmbr, 2mrw, 4get.. gah!!), random use of capital letters (.. "my Favourite dayzz were Then" etc etc), crap grammar (.."and then she was like uh-oh i gotta go yknow what im saying?" You know what i'm saying dumbass?!) And yes, i use the small letter i when i refer to the first person. You can deal with it, yes you can, oh you know you can. And i'm done.

ANIMAL:
Dumb blondes. Heh, just kidding. I don't know, don't particularly hate any animals.

SEASON:
Up here in the Northeast corner of America's shoulder, summer is such a fleeting glimpse. Spring just starts melting the snow, and it's still chilly.. and then summer comes by, you sweat for a few days, and then the wind is biting straight through your spine again.

TALKING ON THE PHONE:
When i talk to someone i'm an eye-contact person, i gesticulate a lot, and it's kinda pointless when i'm on the phone!

WATCHING TV OR MOVIES:
Movies end too quickly when you're watching one in a theater.

EATING IN RESTAURANTS:
For some reason, i always end up thinking to myself "Man i wish i was eating this meal sitting at home.."

SHOWERING:
That first blast of cold water before it gets warm when you flick from bathtup tap to showerhead.. brr! Even writing about it makes me cringe!

DATING:
Everyone is worried about setting an example, putting up some front during a date. No one ever says what they really mean, probably worried they're gonna say the wrong thing and end up not scoring. Of course, this applies to first dates.. if this is happening to you on latter dates then it's time to bail buddy!

THE BEACH:
The lack of space. The sea and the beach are my retreat, and i don't take too kindly to people tramping all over my quiet moment. Alas, i need to purchase my own island in the tropics to truly achieve that.

THE GROCERY STORE:
People who shop like it's a snatch and grab mission. I like taking my time as i shop, there's so many new foods to try, so many things to see, so many recipes to read.

HOUSEHOLD CHORE:
Washing dishes. See post not so long ago.

HABIT IN OTHERS?
More a trait than habit, but arrogance/self-righteousness really pisses me off. Fuck yourselves, go find another planet to live on!

HABIT OF YOURS?
My incessant ability to start talking so fast that all you hear is "We changed the lineoverbutthen thefillewouldn'staupnwadssuesonthepper.. yeah, that's what happened". You know i'm nervous when i do that.

THING ABOUT WOMEN?
How some women expect the fact that they're women will get things done for them.

THING ABOUT MEN?
How some men constantly engage in one-upmanship, even when there are no women present.

WHAT'S ANNOYING YOU TODAY?
20 questions are way too many, it's killing my buzz. Time to wake and bake baby..

dishes gah!

when normal people cook, they think about how the food they make is going to taste etc.. when i cook, i think about the number of utensils are getting used up, cos it means having to wash dishes, many of them. in case you haven't deciphered already, i hate washing dishes. more than any other household chore, nothing invokes my ire and lassitude as much as doing the dishes does.

i always think of getting paper plates and plastic forks and spoons, but usually common sense and other people prevail.. so here i am again, looking at the kitchen sink ruefully, with it full of pots and pans, plates and plenty of cutlery. can't wait for someone to come and do the dishes for me i guess..

NB: don't suggest getting a dishwasher, the gf does not like being called that!

Last..

flicked this off Sassy's blog.. yes i'm lazy, deal with it! :-P

Last Place I Was: a very warm and comfy bed! will be off to work in a bit..
Last Drink I Had: two cans of 211 Steel Reserve - yes it's cheap-ass beer, but helps me get asleep!
Last Movie I Saw: 'Thank You For Smoking' - excellent excellent movie
Last Person I Talked To On The Phone: checked my Voicemail actually
Last Song I Listened to: 'Pain' - Three Days Grace
Last Bubble Bath I Took: LOL.. how about 20-something years ago?!
Last Time I Cried:see above! nahh i lie.. probably 3-4 years ago..
Last T.V. Show I Watched: am watching the Buffalo Sabres thrash the Habs now
Last Book I Read: heck, y'all know i don't read.. but this month's Playboy is a great issue!
Last Time I Laughed: watching DC Benny on Comedy Central in the morning today

me me me.. hahah!

I am thinking about…
listening to Staind and wondering where my life is heading..
"So I speak to you in riddles because, My words get in my way"
i've also been hitting the vodka after i got home!

I said...
i feel really sociable right now! but i think should eat, watch some tv and go to sleep.. (i know, how boring!)

I want to...
take a vacation. one week at least. please!

I wish...
i was still a grad student.

I hear...
the a.c. humming away in the back, and the music that's playing in the back.

I wonder...
why i haven't done more in life being the age that i am.

I regret...
i try to live life well, and regret little, but the last few months leave me full of regret.

I am...
the awesome one. (you better believe it)

I dance...
wait a sec, i don't dance, but i sure do headbang to heavy effing metal!

I sing...
all sorts of stuff, mostly Alice In Chains, Nirvana, Metallica and Junoon.

I cry...
nopes, nada.. don't do that crying business.

I am not always...
the easiest person to deal with.

I make with my hands...
things around me.. i'm a mechanic at heart, it's what i do.

I write...
all the time, but rarely publish the stuff that means anything to me.

I confuse...
pretty much everyone around me.

I need…
to sleep.. to drink.. to eat.. to just be myself again. (that is if i can remember who myself was in the first place!)

yes this is a tag, so go ahead and do the needful..

six weird things

i was tagged both by aparna & sanny.. six weird facts/habits about yourself. now this is a tag that is sure to raise hackles as i pass it on, so i might as well make you laugh before i piss you off!

the rules:-
- Post six weird facts/habits about yourself. These cannot be used against you later on .
- At the bottom name the six people you will tag next.
- Leave them a comment to let them know they've been tagged and to read your blog.

here goes:

1. i'm a control freak, and a bit of a perfectionist. things have gotta be done a certain way, usually how i like it, i find security in tried and tested ways. luckily though, i'm mostly open-minded enough to listen to and try new things.
2. the girl should be on my left side. whether we're walking in the rain or rolling in the hay, i always like the girl to be on my left. i think she 'fits' better there, like the right piece in a jig-saw puzzle.
3. planning is everything. most things are screwed up cos of the 3-P's (piss poor planning). i always like to take a few minutes to sit back and think things over, getting a plan of action before starting to do it.
4. it's a secret dream of mine to have a stand-up comic act. i love stand-up comedy, and always wanted to do it. who knows, i might yet give it a shot. can you imagine me doing the Blue Collar Comedy Tour with Larry the Cable Guy, Bill Engvall and the rest - how much of a hoot would that be!
5. my sleep patterns mimic my state in life very directly. i can sleep 8-12 hours a night when stable and satisfied, and sleep in short shifts when tense and worried. often i look at my sleep cycles to ask myself how i feel about things!
6. i used to be very interested in 'astral projection'. not so much in it's classic sense, but more so where i like to pick a spot anywhere and imagine what the field of view would be from there. kinda like looking down upon myself, a bird's-eye view.

so that's that, and now i start to tag! sassy has enough weird material for a book! i know resh will hate me for this, but you should hear hers too! the-think, step up to the stage willya! nick, you know i was gonna hunt you down buddy! Kfarmer - we wanna read yours too! and finally, GND, i wanna hear yours too! enjoy people!

what does it mean?

i have this recurring dream, where i am playing soccer.. sometimes my fellow players are friends and family, sometimes it's a professional big-league with some of my idols. and in every dream, usually at a crucial juncture.. my legs turn to lead and i can't run fast enough, as if my feet were stuck in wet mud, and the ball rolls further and further away.. hard as i try to chase after it, it's all to no avail.

waking up from this dream always leaves me despondent, and a dark foreboding always clouds my mind as i start the day. can anyone help me out with a few suggestions as to what it might mean?

if music be the food of love..

**EDIT**
seems like people wanna get back on this one, so i'll leave it here for one more day!


.. then what dishes do you like best?! had an interesting discussion with some friends.. what songs would you choose to make love to? what if you had to narrow them down to three?! think carefully, if you had to choose three songs to make love to, what would they be?

after much contemplation, i got these three, all embodying different moods..

- Pink Floyd - "Echoes" (watch video)
- Michael Jackson - "Give In To Me" (watch video)
- Chris Isaak - "Wicked Game" (watch video)

honorable mentions, which just missed the cut
- Jean Michel Jarre - "Waiting For Cousteau" (watch video)
- Pink Floyd - "High Hopes" (watch video)

how about you?

10 Things I Miss

this is a tricky tag that i got from Scout, she doesn't clarify if these are things i miss cos i can't have them anymore, or miss just cos i like them! anyways, here in no particular order are ten things i miss (read what you will into these, i shall not explain)

1. wild college parties and pub crawls with buddies
   
2. the scent of a woman, esp. freshly-showered
3. spending time, talking, eating with my parents
   
4. doing absolutely nothing all day, for a week, and longer
   
5. the feel of a girl's goosebumps against my skin
   
6. not having to clean my room or do laundry
7. being a teeneager and not caring about responsibility
8. the ability to sleep for long hours at a stretch
9. being in love, and being loved, unconditionally
   
10. living in a hostel/dorm and bunking classes
    

the letter 'S'..

an interesting voluntary tag from addict's blog.. this is how it works.. in your comment to this post, ask for a letter, which i will give you as a reply to your comment. then write ten words beginning with that letter, and explain the story or meaning or relevance of those words to you.. then pass out some letters too! addict gave me 'S'..

1. sport - i love sports, and love watching and playing whatever i can. among my fave sports are soccer, football, rugby and ice-hockey.
2. scotch - this is a taste i picked up from my dad, considering it was his scotch i was drinking! i am still trying to develop my own preference.. highland, lowland, islay, single malt, single blend etc.
3. steak - this actually covers my passion for meat, in all its forms and shapes and avtars! i'll cook it, grill it, smoke it, eat it and hell yeah, i'll beat it too!
4. shirts - i simply love shirts, and by shirts i mean formal shirts, not t-shirts, of which i have another huge collection! i am not a big fan of shopping for shirts, but i will wear them definitely! i have over 30 shirts, all arranged in my wardrobe according to their hue on the color spectrum. yes, you read that right!
5. smoking - this is an on-again, off-again topic in my life. i got off smoking the heavier stuff long back, and cut down my regular smoking down to none a day.. then here at my work place my whole team smokes, and i just sit around for company. but then we had one really shitty day last week and i mooched a couple off them.. the fight continues.
6. sentiment - i am a sentimental guy. i find it hard to let go. things move on, people do too, and i still hold on some times. i make no excuses for it, i just care too much. it hurts me more often than not, but i never learn.
7. sleep - there is little i hold more dear than sleep! and how i sleep is an indicator of how my life is going, much like a barometer. when all is well and things are stable, i can sleep 7-8 hours at a stretch. when things are not going so good, i sleep in 2-3 hour shifts, tossing and turning, lying awake haunted by my mind.
8. satire - nothing turns me on like intelligent satire. wit is an important part of my life, i use it, and like to hear it used too. a sense of humor is the most important character trait i look for in anyone, be it colleague, friend, or lover.
9. sincerity - this is such an important thing. i only say what i mean, and like to hear only what people mean too. often speaking my mind and being brutally honest and self-critical has comeback to haunt me big time, but i have never regretted it. honesty is of paramount importance to me.
10. storms - these are another turn-on. storms turn me on, make me passionate, eloquent and romantic. they bring out a different side to me. rain pelting down, lightning streaking through the sky and Alice In Chains or Tool playing loud.. at a moment like that i could step out to the balcony, and make my dreams and ambitions come true, or die trying.
    

sounded better in my head

s!: up for some scrabble or something?
a: no, too much work
s!: ok i'll just play with myself then go off to sleep..

---------

s!: his folks really liked 'The Graduate' eh?
l: why, there's someone called Dustin in it?!

---------

s!: i never seem to be able to bang them hard enough, usually the stick slips..
l: *sniggering*
s!: i was talking about playing pool!

---------

l: first 100 ppl to come to me.. free beer!
s!: can i come 100 times, will that count?
l: yes sure! but i think you'll be exhausted!

be yourself

something i've been thinking about the last few days now.. do we really act our age? somehow some of us always seem to do things that befit people younger than us, and some people act more mature than their tender years. when i was in undergrad, i was older than most of my buddies, and always took the driving seat as such. somehow ever since i joined grad school and my current group of friends, i was always gonna be the younger 'un..

thing is, i find myself where i am now, 27 and done with grad school.. and i really feel i should be asking some more pertinent questions, making some more important decisions, and definitely taking more responsibility for my actions. it's all easy to think that i'm still in college and it's all good, but i don't wanna be stuck in that mindset. i think i am ready to take the next step, and start thinking beyond college, and thinking of a life more than where to drink tonight, which beer is better, and why did i stop doing pot.

it's time to grow up, and act my age.

To be yourself is all that you can do - 'Be Yourself', Audioslave

primary colours

i would like to say that my days in primary school were really innocent, but then i would be lying! i was a living terror to teachers and prefects alike.. which was worsened by the fact that i was a prefect too! sample some of my masterpieces, worked along with my best bud 'H'..

• school assembly was an open-air long-drawn affair on mondays. one monday during assembly i found myself near a school bus parked next to us in the back.. so i stuck in a twig in the tire nozzle and as all the air hissed out, i spread a rumor that the bus was gonna blow and in the widespread panic assembly and the first two classes were cancelled!


• the headmaster had a fish pond where he had two beloved rainbowfish, right outside his office window.. so naturally whenever he was not in his office his fish would disappear into two plastic bags that H and i had.. and poor headmaster never solved the mystery of why his fish would go missing and then magically reappear!


• this headmaster was much hated when he first joined the school, as he tried to impose himself. so one day at lunch break, while someone distracted the watchman, his car's front license plate was mysteriously switched with another hated teacher's.. no idea how that ended!


• i would like to clarify here that i was in no way connected with the girl's restroom phantom in class 6. apparently, during lunchbreak when there was a crowd milling past the restroom doors, the girls' door would swing open and a firecracker be tossed in, scaring the living daylights out of the girls inside when it went 'bang'. that was not me, i swear, i looove chicks! *snigger*


• in class 7, all four streams were in the same row, with huge windows on the left side of the classroms.. so we devised a clothesline telegraph with color-coded clothes pegs to hold messages and a hand-drawn system to pull the looped cable to and fro.


• when in class 8 we had these desks that had built-in door flaps and you could latch them with a padlock from outside. earlier in the day the Johnson & Johnson folks had come by to give the adolescent girls a talk, and hand out free samples.. of which a box H had swiped and hidden in the bushes as he was passing the pickup truck offloading the 'stuff'! since i was Deputy Headboy, i had keys to all the classrooms, which were locked at lunch. i went into our class, picked a padlock with a paperclip, and dumped all the free samples in the desk. the desk belonged to a tattletale who had told on us for talking in class before, you can imagine his face when he opened his desk after lunch, with everyone looking at him!


• same year a class 1 teacher had called in sick and no one was available to substitute, so i was asked to mind the class for two periods. i gave them some math homework and promptly fell asleep at the desk, only to wake up an hour later with half the class dirty and/or crying, and the other half running around outside getting dirty or about to start crying.. luckily the lunch bell rang and i mysteriously vanished after that!


• end of every school year we would have a last day party, kids could come to school not in unifrom, and there would be no classes, just cake and soda, playing games and stuff. H had gotten his elder bro to buy us some beer and cigarettes, and when he wasn't looking, swiped his Playboys too! the party went awesome.. we had kids lining up to take a peek at the centerfold, and/or sip beer, and/or take a puff.. we were legends! this was class 4.


• as a inter-class competition project in class 7, we had to come out with a weekly magazine, with full records of accounts and etc. we rigged the editorial board of the magazine (ours was called SPYY) so that it was our gang all in power, plagiarized most of the cartoons from mags no one had heard of which i got from my american neighbours (MAD magazine), copied reviews from Kerrang! (i was the only one who listened to heavy metal), conned local businesses to sponsor our printing costs, and then eliminated all printing costs by sneaking into the school print room when the janitor was out at lunch to make the photocopies, and swiped all the money that we made from sponsorships and sales claiming printing expenses with fake invoices we made.


• the final exams of class 7 i was feeling very restless, as was H. since he was the better sprinter, we hatched a great plan. we got this huge firecracker, with a fountain fuse that gave you twenty seconds to get away, and planted it behind a tree in the football field, just beside the school block. H asked to use the restroom an hour into the multiple choice Geography exam, scooted down, lit the fuse, and came tearing back upstairs, just entering the door when the cracker went off. windows went vibrating, walls shook, and kids started screaming like crazy. when the chaos settled down, i had all the answers, and most of my friends had a copy of my answers too!

High School

i loved high school.. it was tough, and yet fun. high school in Kenya was four years, grade/class nine till twelve.. known as Form One to Form Four. at Strathmore we had a pretty small boys-only student body (80 per batch, divided into two streams), but we had very high standards, and worked very hard to maintain the top three in the country status. the school was run by the Opus Dei (Latin for 'Work of God'), which is a prelate of the Catholic Church. The teachings of the Opus Dei embody the sanctity of work, and is for the lay people. being a small science-focussed school, there was not much choice of electives at the eight subject, board exam level, with Engineering Drawing or Commerce being the only choice.

we had some of the most amazing teachers there.. most of them being ex-Strath boys who simply refused to leave! the Physics prof was a passionate Spaniard who could cuss the color off a sailor.. the Chemistry teacher was an absent-minded Aussie who we nicknamed Doc for his penchant of mumbling under his breath and blowing things up with disdain in the labs. the Drawing teacher was a Southern Italian who regaled us with stories of the Mafia while he puffed his pipe and walked up and down the class as we drew. we had another teacher who was also Italian, and the wisest, most disciplined man i have ever come across. i think there was no question he had no answer for, and you can bet teenagers can come up with a helluva lot of questions! the Swahili teacher was a wizened old man who was five foot nothing, and with immaculate precision and punctuation scared the wits out of every one of us. the Geography teacher was also a national level rugby player, and we loathed him so much that we all did excellently at the nationals in geography, it was difficult to get his nagging voice out of your head while writing the exam! then the Biology teacher was this quiet bloke who we made so much fun of, that it was not even funny! some of the pranks we pulled on him were legendary, but that is all fodder for another post.

the day would be pretty hectic for me.. i could be found running up the street to catch Bus A every morning at 6.42 a.m., i was never a morning person. school bell rang at 7.50, and first class was at 8.05. two classes then break for 15 min at 9.45. 10.00 to 11.40 were two more classes, then there was a 40 min class where you could either go for Mass at the school Chapel, or else have a study lesson. following that was another class till 1.10, which was the most agonising class ever. the class before lunch always was. lunch was in the Dining Hall, where the food was above average for school messes. you were expected to learn and use table etiquette, including forks and knives, which was quite an achievment for the teachers cos we were a bunch of unruly teens! after lunch would be three more lessons until 4.30, with wednesday and friday afternoons being sports classes. after which i would hang around and play soccer, catching the 6.05 bus to be home at 7.

looking back at that period, i don't think there was ever a time i worked that hard. there were no free periods in school, so homework was done at home, and often i was up till 1-2 studying cos the system at Strath was pretty tough. we had 3 school terms, with an exam every halfterm (called CATs), and all six counting towards your final grade. you were ranked in four quarters (20 students each), and had to fight tooth and nail to retain your position in the first quarter in each subject. one bad CAT would send you plummeting.. i remember once in CAT II i had 85% in geography and was in 1st-Qtr., and when i got 80% in CAT III i fell to 3rd-Qtr. you had to bring your A-game to school, every single day. even at sport, everyone was a competitor, and you could go from regular starter to fringe player with two consecutive offdays.

all in all it was a good time, and even though i am hardly in touch with anyone from that era, i know everywhere the boys of Strath are, they are doing the school proud..

all hail the power of Strathmore School,
let all teams fall before us, let all teams fear..

quiz results!

A Tale Of Two Sisters

there were two sisters Virginia & Mary-Jane
one was much fun and one was quite plain
the two together are even better though
good times and happy memories on the go

every time the two came over chaos ensued
the music was loud and there was food
we'd have a few drinks and laugh like crazy
and next morning things would be all hazy

thought we three'd be together forever
but society wouldn't let that happen ever
and though i knew they were no good for me
they made the days fun and the nights free

i had to leave Mary-Jane ten months back
sometimes her presence i really do lack
seen her around but not spoken to her
just fond thoughts of how we once were

and i leave Virginia as this month ends
i have to go, can't even be just friends
she's been there at the hardest moments
but she's killing me soft and intense

remembrances of us sitting and talking
through sunshine and snowfall walking
teasing and playing and moments intimate
it's time to leave, before it's too late.

PS: in case you didn't get it, maryjane and virginia are pseudonyms for weed and tobacco!

so you know me eh?

so you drop by this blog ever so often, read and comment, or just lurk about.. but do you really remember anything? let's have some fun then, a quick quiz for y'all:

Take my Quiz on QuizYourFriends.com!

thank you all.. come back and leave a comment too!

yeah, thank you Gus Greeper for this, this was fun!

men & women

recently my parents called. ever since they got the extension in place, we have these conference calls, once a month usually. i discourage them from calling more often, cos with the time difference they usually catch me on sunday mornings. at noon on sunday i'm still clearing cobwebs from last night's booze and the rumbling from the tummy is saying "hey, wasn't there some wings left over from last night?!"

so ever since these three-way conversations started, i started remembering things about my folks. i can be excused for forgetting, cos it's been seven years since i lived at home, and in those seven years a lot of brain cells have been sacrificed at the altar of hedonism. more on that some other time. the one thing that i was reminded of was the difference between men and women.

men are basic. women love details. and that's how it is. men don't like little things, simple questions, and simple answers. which is why when women ask men too many questions, they reply "uhhmidunno". that one word pretty much answers everything. sample this:

mom: "son, so what's the status with your job and thesis? what're you gonna do after you're done. dad, why don't you tell him what he should do."
dad: "uhhmidunno."
me: "well ma, i had just planned on being here in buffalo and keep..."
mom: "wait, your dad has some ideas on what you can do. go on, tell him."
dad: "uhhmidunno."
mom: "come on! no wonder he's so messed up! tell him what you did when you were his age."
dad: "ok ok. boy, you got it covered?"
me: "yeah dad, it's cool."
mom: "i'll never understand you men!"
dad: "uhhmidunno."
me: "uhhmidunno."

so you see, basic. when a guy says he got it done, he's got it done. women love to know the little things, which i ain't saying is bad, but its just how things are. and when a guy tries to get to that detail level like women, then he better be prepared. you wanna start talking the talk then you better be prepared to walk that talk too. every time i tried to really talk to a woman, i'm just left thinking that man i must be some sorta retard. hell, i never thought of things the way she does?!

so when things start getting way too deep for me, i just wanna step back, cos i have no idea how to deal with all these emotions. for me it was always good mood (when my football team wins, and when the girl and i agree on what to eat), and bad mood (when the football team gets whipped, and the girl ain't talking to me). so i guess i gotta be prepared to start answering some questions, and dealing with detail. uhhmidunno.

change, and the eternal challenge

what is the toughest challenge you have ever undertaken in your life? given an exam? finished a job? overcame some difficulty? how about change, have you ever tried to change?

recently, a few little snowballs in my life that had been rolling for some time, all merged together as they approached me, forming a giant avalanche.. an avalanche that engulfed me, and left me floundering, gasping for breath, wondering if i could go on. thankfully, sheer belief in something that i treasured, and someone that i valued, helped me get beyond that phase. and as i stand here, dusting myself off, i am thinking and living in a world of change.

as an engineer, i have been trained to approach problems from first principles. so i started with change, what is change? the psychology folks tell me that change is learning, and the process of learning never ends. some part of our behaviour, what we do, is inherited, but the rest we absorb by learning. we learn good things, and we learn bad things. things that we learn can be unlearned, then why not bad behaviour as well? and therein lies the eternal challenge.

one of the first things i read when i embarked on this journey was that procrastination is the biggest enemy of change. not surprisingly, the biggest procrastinators are also the people least likely to change. the key word here is motivation. how strong is your motivation? it goes without saying that if your motivation is not strong enough, you will not change. most of us test the limits, wondering how much longer we can keep things going without making that big step, the big 'C' word.. change.

something had to give, and when it gave, it jolted me big time. shook me out of my dreamy reverie, and off this lofty perch i had assigned myself. the line between sheer arrogance and self-confidence is very narrow. i crossed that line so long ago that it was a dot on the horizon in my rear-view mirror. not any more. i have made that U-turn, and i'm headed back into the light. now to see what change will bring.

i apologize to any one i have rubbed the wrong way. it's the least i can do to make up for stuff i did or said in the past.

NB: for further reading, click here.

beware the ides of March

what an appropriate day for the age-old soothsayer's warning.. "beware the ides of March", though the date is actually the kalends of March. February ended with a huge pile-up, and i find myself mentally and emotionally shattered by what's happening in my life.

i will be going away from the blog for a while. this blog has been my escape from reality for a long time now, but maybe this whole escape thing is not cutting it. i hope to be back when the smoke and dust from the wreckage clears. take care of yourselves.

my Johari window

**EDIT**
now the bad!! if you can, please fill out my Nohari window as well, feel free to be anonymous if you want ;-)

Arena (known to self and others) extroverted, friendly, knowledgeable, witty

Blind Spot (known only to others) able, accepting, adaptable, bold, brave, caring, cheerful, clever, complex, confident, dependable, dignified, energetic, happy, helpful, idealistic, independent, ingenious, intelligent, kind, logical, loving, mature, modest, observant, organised, patient, reflective, responsive, searching, self-assertive, self-conscious, sensible, sentimental, spontaneous, trustworthy, warm

Façade (known only to self) relaxed

Unknown (known to nobody) calm, giving, introverted, nervous, powerful, proud, quiet, religious, shy, silly, sympathetic, tense, wise

All Percentages

able (7%) accepting (10%) adaptable (3%) bold (7%) brave (3%) calm (0%) caring (14%) cheerful (28%) clever (10%) complex (10%) confident (21%) dependable (28%) dignified (10%) energetic (25%) extroverted (32%) friendly (28%) giving (0%) happyhelpful (3%) idealistic (7%) independent (14%) ingenious (7%) intelligent (39%) (17%) introverted (0%) kind (7%) knowledgeable (21%) logical (10%) loving (3%) maturemodest (3%) (14%) nervous (0%) observant (25%) organised (3%) patient (10%) powerful (0%) proud (0%) quiet (0%) reflective (3%) relaxed (0%) religious (0%) responsivesearching (10%) self-assertive (14%) self-conscious (3%) sensible (10%) sentimental (7%) (3%) shy (0%) silly (0%) spontaneous (17%) sympathetic (0%) tense (0%) trustworthy (10%) warm (17%) wise (0%) witty (46%)

Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 25.2.2006, using data from 28 respondents.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view soray's full data.

thank you everyone!!

so you know me?

here's something interesting that's going around blogworld. a 'Johari window' is something that's used to check someone's personality traits. read more about it at the wiki site.

since i'm actually trying to listen and care what you folks think of me, i'm gonna need your help here! please go to this page, and pick out a few words that you think describe me best. so when y'all are done, this site is gonna make me a small window telling me some stuff, with which i hope to become a better person. yeah i know y'all love me to bits.. now click and start choosing!!

NB: go here if you want one for yourself too!

**EDIT**
this thing seems to be going pretty good, so i'm gonna leave it on here a little longer! please feel free to fill it in, even if you only know me through blogging!

tuesday and morning?!

i had an early morning meeting today with one of the advisors.. now those who know me also know that i don't do mornings, and have no particular love for tuesdays either.. so i think i should be forgiven for showing up bleary-eyed and laden with fluffy snow. by the way, fluffy snow is a deceptive misnomer that should be banned from the annals (note similarity of said word to anal) of the dictionary - there is nothing soul-comforting or heart-warming about fluffy snow.. it's still cold, still a pain to trudge through, and still as cold when it slips sneakily down the collar and trickles down my back chortling with glee!

anyways, for a bit of history of why i hate tuesdays.. refer to this post from 07/05/05..

as we all know, yesterday was the 4th of July.. for the unsuspecting, that is the American Independence Day.. and it being a monday, it was a three-day weekend (a four-day weekend for the more enterprising of the lot!).. hope y'all had a great break.

now there are people who suffer from monday blues, and then there is me. i have serious issues with monday mornings, the kind that do not get resolved in a dark alley with a baseball bat, but get carried down generat