If I were..

.. easy, I'd blog a tag ages after I had stopped writing proper posts. So here I am.

If I were a month I would be: June, carrying the hope of spring and the promise of summer - yeah right!

If I were a day of the week I would be: Saturday night baby!

If I were a time of day I would be: 11pm, the time i'm either fast asleep or at the peak of my creativity.

If I were a planet I would be: Uranus.. lol, that was too easy. Probably Mars, like Earth, but not quite.

If I were an animal I would be: a lion.. lazy as f*ck but when things need to get done they get done.

If I were a direction I would be: going down. Yes.

If I were a liquid I would be: beer. Vatfuls of the stuff.

If I were a flower/plant I would be: barley or hops, going with the beer theme.

If I were a kind of weather I would be: sunny yet breezy, like the Northeast spring.

If I were a musical instrument I would be: a rusty trombone. UrbanDictionary that one up!

If I were an emotion I would be: empathy - i usually look out for the others of the species, but i do NOT "suffer fools gladly" (2 Corinthians 11:19)

If I were a color I would be: Pepsi blue baby, look at what i put up with and yet go back to work every day.

If I were a sound I would be: a fart! hahah!

If I were a car I would be: the Ford Mustang Shelby GT500KR

If I were a song I would be: Mad Season's 'Long Gone Day'

If I were a food I would be: thick-cut steak, grilled medium-rare with mashed potatoes

If I were a taste I would be: see above!

If I were a scent I would be: Old Spice underarm deo.

If I were a word I would be: awesome.

If I were a facial expression I would be: a raised eyebrow.

If I were a number I would be: 665, just a little short of the devil himself.

If I were a cartoon character I would be: Animal from The Muppet Show.

the last time you..

Injured yourself
nicks, cuts, grazes, bruises and burns are unfortunately a way of life for me at work.. maintenance is not easy. i think i have been lucky enough to avoid serious injury so far though

Were in love
right about now would be one.. have been for the last year plus

Were violent
not since i stopped playing competitive sport, back in undergrad. if it was a contact sport, i always tended to emphasize on the contact part of things, and it wasn't the love-tap kind of contact either, heh

Drank too much
define too much! i would say too much is when you have such a big hangover that it has a small hangover of it's own. that would probably be a few weeks ago, when two beers led to two more, which led to two whiskeys, and led to two more..

Experienced bliss
bliss for me is when i get at least 8 hours uninterrupted sleep, alcohol-and-cough-syrup-induced or otherwise.. unfortunately, in my line of work that is as rare as a smart yet slutty blonde

Did something you shouldn't have
see above entry about 'drank too much'!

Created art
pretty much every time i cook

Surprised someone
my bosses every other day, when they find out how much i know about my job and how well i have things under control

Went somewhere fancy
a few months ago, at the gf's graduation party.. it was a classy steakhouse the kind of which i will never be able to afford - $48 for a porterhouse steak?! luckily her folks were buying ;-)

Bought something expensive
yesterday - it's a gadget, of course.. but i won't say what it is here cos i know the gf is going to be reading this!

Played a practical joke on someone
i'm a prankster, i live for gags.. a couple of days ago one of my colleagues had started his car up to warm up and went back inside.. so i jumped in and parked his car at the other end of the parking lot. he spent a while looking for his car, and was about ready to call the cops before we all burst out laughing..

Felt nervous in someone's company
nahh, i'm not the nervous type.

Felt beautiful
erm?

Felt unattractive
again, erm?

Threw a party
that's been a really really long time. i think the last party i threw was when i was back in Buffalo, our farewell there, almost two years ago!

Were the centre of attention
that has got to be every monday morning at work, cos every effin' person with a radio is hollering at me about some shit or the other. monday mornings are not good at startup, so i always keep my appointment book clear.

Felt betrayed
when my ex-boss crapped all over my annual review. he quit, i'm still here, and even did his job for six months. so guess who won eh?

Lied
all the time. i might be lying now about that too. am i?

Were scared
i don't scare too easy, but i do avoid horror movies with kids in them

Felt glad to be you
all the time. if i made more money and had more time off i'd be even gladder to be me.. but hey, we'll get there!

book-smart

i got this tag off Kfarmer.. name the books that made you..

A book that made you laugh: Anything by P. G. Wodehouse
A book that made you cry: The IITians - Sandipan Deb (only cos it reminded of good ol' college days!)
A book that scared you: Cujo - Stephen King
A book that disgusted you: Godplayer - Robin Cook
A book you loved in elementary school: William - Richmal Crompton
A book you loved in middle school or junior high school: The Hardy Boys - Franklin W. Dixon, closely beating out Alfred Hitchcock & The 3 Investigators - Robert Arthur
A book you loved in high school: Louis L'amour - the Sackett series
A book you loved in college: the Bill Bryson travel series
A book that challenged your identity: The God of Small Things - Arundhati Roy
A series that you love: The Willard Price animal adventures
Your favorite horror book: Needful Things - Stephen King
Your favorite science fiction book: Prey - Michael Crichton
Your favorite fantasy: The Hobbit - J.R.R. Tolkien (wait, did you mean sexual fantasy?? hmm..)
Your favorite mystery: Alistair Maclean
Your favorite spy thriller: Fist of God - Frederick Forsyth
Your favorite biography: Immediate Action - Andy McNab
Your favorite "coming of age" book: How to Win Friends & Influence People - Dale Carnegie
Your favorite classic: Huckleberry Finn - Mark Twain or Treasure Island - R. L. Stevenson
Your favorite romance book: now when you say romance and mean Mills & Boon type thing, then y'know i don't read those.. but the closest in that category i can think of is 'The Godfather' - Mario Puzo.. c'mon, you know you've opened Pg. 27 where Sonny is groping Lucy Mancini at the wedding!!

A to Z

A. Available or taken: taken.. as taken as a KFC drive-thru

B. Best Friend: the Brownie gang

C. Cake or pie: pie pie pie.. apple pie, custard pie, rhubarb pie, bread pudding, coffee mousse, cream pie ;-) all sorts of pie - yum!

D. Drink of choice: beer

E. Essential item: three things - wallet, phone and keys

F. Favorite color: black is good

G. Gummi bears or worms: jelly babies actually

H. Hometown: Nairobi

I. Indulgence: scotch

J. January or February: January.. right in the peak of winter

K. Kids and/or names: none & nope

L. Life is incomplete without: the people and things that are around me

M. Marriage date: in another couple of years, definitely!

N. Number of siblings: none, nada

O. Oranges or apples: apples

P. Phobias/Fears: Kakorrhaphiophobia - Fear of failure or defeat, sounds bizarre eh?!

Q. Quote: "Expectations reduce joy"

R. Reason to smile: lots, you just need to look around for things that make you smile

S. Season: spring is good

T. Tag 3 / 6 people: tag yourselves!

U. Unknown fact about me: i'm lazy - no wait, you knew that. ok, i think too much. my brain is always running in overdrive, on multiple channels, which explains why i rarely sleep well.

V. Vegetable you hate: Turnips! aaargh!

W. Worst habit: being high-handed and sarcastic

X. X-rays: dental mostly

Y. Your favorite food: barbecue.. ribs, steaks, chicken, anything!

Z. Zodiac: capricorn.

twenty dollar bill

aka twenty things you probably never knew about me, and will not enrich your life in any which way even after you do. enjoy, heh!

1. Pick out a scar you have and explain how you got it:
this little marvel circled in red here.. when i was ten months old i took a swan dive out of my walker, and headfirst into the gravel driveway. some things in life don't change, still heading headfirst into life.. pun intended.

2. What is on the walls of your bedroom?
absolutely nothing, the room is reserved for action elsewhere.. heh!

3. What does your phone look like?
faithful, chipped, cracked and still going strong, like it's owner

4. What music do you listen to?
rock, mostly grunge. let the picture tell the tale

5. What is your current desktop picture?
let's go Sabres!

6. What do you want more than anything right now?
to get eight hours uninterrupted sleep

7. Do you believe in gay marriages?
yeah yeah.. they'll live together anyways

8. What time were you born?
9.30 pm, when most bars start livening up. no seriously.

9. Are your parents still together?
through the proverbial thick n' thin

10. What are you listening to?
Shinedown - 'Leave A Whisper'

11. Are you afraid of the dark?
nope

12. Last person who made you cry?
the guy singing the Kenyan national anthem after he won the Boston Marathon

13. What is you favourite perfume/cologne?
no real favorites, leaning towards Old Spice though

14. What kind of hair/eye colour do you like in the opposite sex?
blondes might have more fun, but it's the brunettes who really put the 'f' in fuc.. i mean, fun.

15. Do you like painkillers?
only with alcohol. heh, i kid. or not.

16. Are you too shy to ask someone out?
not in the least (see #1 above)

17. Favourite pizza topping?
steak n' cheese

18. If you could eat anything right now, what would that be?
lemon pepper buffalo wings

19. Who's the last person who got mad at you?
the significant other

20. Is anyone in love with you?
at least she says so. then again, see #19 above.

feel free to tag yourselves

10 20 Things I Hate About You.. generally

i'm in a real mellow mood, chilled out as the week is over. i nicked this tag off Resh, figured i'd make it up to the hordes of eager readers who've been ignored for over a week.. yeah right!

YOUR MOST HATED..

BEVERAGE:
Cherry-flavored drinks. What the fuck is that about? Fresh cherries taste awesome, then why is that cherry-flavor in drinks so fucking awful?!

COLOR:
The dull grey that fills the sky in bleak winter.

TOWN/CITY:
Any place that doesn't have a soul. I need to always have a neighborhood pub around the corner, where you might still be comfortable even when surrounded by strangers. I want a local sandwich shop, where you will always be greeted with a smile and the scent of freshly toasted bread in the air. A liquor store where you can chat with the guy and ask him to recommend a wine. A gas station where you can go buy tinned fruit, whipped cream and a soft, mushy brownie at 4 a.m., and the kid behind the counter gives you a knowing grin. And like i found out yesterday, a knick-knack store a block down where an old lady greets you with a cheery Irish twanged "Top of the mornin' to ya!"

MOVIE:
No one truly makes an ending where the bad guy wins, where the good guy loses, where Average Andy and Everyday Ella end as confused, beaten and struggling as when they began.

ASPECT OF BLOGGER:
Poor grammar. Maybe it's the pedantic streak in me, but it really discourages me from reading on when people start using chat lingo (rmbr, 2mrw, 4get.. gah!!), random use of capital letters (.. "my Favourite dayzz were Then" etc etc), crap grammar (.."and then she was like uh-oh i gotta go yknow what im saying?" You know what i'm saying dumbass?!) And yes, i use the small letter i when i refer to the first person. You can deal with it, yes you can, oh you know you can. And i'm done.

ANIMAL:
Dumb blondes. Heh, just kidding. I don't know, don't particularly hate any animals.

SEASON:
Up here in the Northeast corner of America's shoulder, summer is such a fleeting glimpse. Spring just starts melting the snow, and it's still chilly.. and then summer comes by, you sweat for a few days, and then the wind is biting straight through your spine again.

TALKING ON THE PHONE:
When i talk to someone i'm an eye-contact person, i gesticulate a lot, and it's kinda pointless when i'm on the phone!

WATCHING TV OR MOVIES:
Movies end too quickly when you're watching one in a theater.

EATING IN RESTAURANTS:
For some reason, i always end up thinking to myself "Man i wish i was eating this meal sitting at home.."

SHOWERING:
That first blast of cold water before it gets warm when you flick from bathtup tap to showerhead.. brr! Even writing about it makes me cringe!

DATING:
Everyone is worried about setting an example, putting up some front during a date. No one ever says what they really mean, probably worried they're gonna say the wrong thing and end up not scoring. Of course, this applies to first dates.. if this is happening to you on latter dates then it's time to bail buddy!

THE BEACH:
The lack of space. The sea and the beach are my retreat, and i don't take too kindly to people tramping all over my quiet moment. Alas, i need to purchase my own island in the tropics to truly achieve that.

THE GROCERY STORE:
People who shop like it's a snatch and grab mission. I like taking my time as i shop, there's so many new foods to try, so many things to see, so many recipes to read.

HOUSEHOLD CHORE:
Washing dishes. See post not so long ago.

HABIT IN OTHERS?
More a trait than habit, but arrogance/self-righteousness really pisses me off. Fuck yourselves, go find another planet to live on!

HABIT OF YOURS?
My incessant ability to start talking so fast that all you hear is "We changed the lineoverbutthen thefillewouldn'staupnwadssuesonthepper.. yeah, that's what happened". You know i'm nervous when i do that.

THING ABOUT WOMEN?
How some women expect the fact that they're women will get things done for them.

THING ABOUT MEN?
How some men constantly engage in one-upmanship, even when there are no women present.

WHAT'S ANNOYING YOU TODAY?
20 questions are way too many, it's killing my buzz. Time to wake and bake baby..

Last..

flicked this off Sassy's blog.. yes i'm lazy, deal with it! :-P

Last Place I Was: a very warm and comfy bed! will be off to work in a bit..
Last Drink I Had: two cans of 211 Steel Reserve - yes it's cheap-ass beer, but helps me get asleep!
Last Movie I Saw: 'Thank You For Smoking' - excellent excellent movie
Last Person I Talked To On The Phone: checked my Voicemail actually
Last Song I Listened to: 'Pain' - Three Days Grace
Last Bubble Bath I Took: LOL.. how about 20-something years ago?!
Last Time I Cried:see above! nahh i lie.. probably 3-4 years ago..
Last T.V. Show I Watched: am watching the Buffalo Sabres thrash the Habs now
Last Book I Read: heck, y'all know i don't read.. but this month's Playboy is a great issue!
Last Time I Laughed: watching DC Benny on Comedy Central in the morning today

me me me.. hahah!

I am thinking about…
listening to Staind and wondering where my life is heading..
"So I speak to you in riddles because, My words get in my way"
i've also been hitting the vodka after i got home!

I said...
i feel really sociable right now! but i think should eat, watch some tv and go to sleep.. (i know, how boring!)

I want to...
take a vacation. one week at least. please!

I wish...
i was still a grad student.

I hear...
the a.c. humming away in the back, and the music that's playing in the back.

I wonder...
why i haven't done more in life being the age that i am.

I regret...
i try to live life well, and regret little, but the last few months leave me full of regret.

I am...
the awesome one. (you better believe it)

I dance...
wait a sec, i don't dance, but i sure do headbang to heavy effing metal!

I sing...
all sorts of stuff, mostly Alice In Chains, Nirvana, Metallica and Junoon.

I cry...
nopes, nada.. don't do that crying business.

I am not always...
the easiest person to deal with.

I make with my hands...
things around me.. i'm a mechanic at heart, it's what i do.

I write...
all the time, but rarely publish the stuff that means anything to me.

I confuse...
pretty much everyone around me.

I need…
to sleep.. to drink.. to eat.. to just be myself again. (that is if i can remember who myself was in the first place!)

yes this is a tag, so go ahead and do the needful..

six weird things

i was tagged both by aparna & sanny.. six weird facts/habits about yourself. now this is a tag that is sure to raise hackles as i pass it on, so i might as well make you laugh before i piss you off!

the rules:-
- Post six weird facts/habits about yourself. These cannot be used against you later on .
- At the bottom name the six people you will tag next.
- Leave them a comment to let them know they've been tagged and to read your blog.

here goes:

1. i'm a control freak, and a bit of a perfectionist. things have gotta be done a certain way, usually how i like it, i find security in tried and tested ways. luckily though, i'm mostly open-minded enough to listen to and try new things.
2. the girl should be on my left side. whether we're walking in the rain or rolling in the hay, i always like the girl to be on my left. i think she 'fits' better there, like the right piece in a jig-saw puzzle.
3. planning is everything. most things are screwed up cos of the 3-P's (piss poor planning). i always like to take a few minutes to sit back and think things over, getting a plan of action before starting to do it.
4. it's a secret dream of mine to have a stand-up comic act. i love stand-up comedy, and always wanted to do it. who knows, i might yet give it a shot. can you imagine me doing the Blue Collar Comedy Tour with Larry the Cable Guy, Bill Engvall and the rest - how much of a hoot would that be!
5. my sleep patterns mimic my state in life very directly. i can sleep 8-12 hours a night when stable and satisfied, and sleep in short shifts when tense and worried. often i look at my sleep cycles to ask myself how i feel about things!
6. i used to be very interested in 'astral projection'. not so much in it's classic sense, but more so where i like to pick a spot anywhere and imagine what the field of view would be from there. kinda like looking down upon myself, a bird's-eye view.

so that's that, and now i start to tag! sassy has enough weird material for a book! i know resh will hate me for this, but you should hear hers too! the-think, step up to the stage willya! nick, you know i was gonna hunt you down buddy! Kfarmer - we wanna read yours too! and finally, GND, i wanna hear yours too! enjoy people!

10 Things I Miss

this is a tricky tag that i got from Scout, she doesn't clarify if these are things i miss cos i can't have them anymore, or miss just cos i like them! anyways, here in no particular order are ten things i miss (read what you will into these, i shall not explain)

1. wild college parties and pub crawls with buddies
   
2. the scent of a woman, esp. freshly-showered
3. spending time, talking, eating with my parents
   
4. doing absolutely nothing all day, for a week, and longer
   
5. the feel of a girl's goosebumps against my skin
   
6. not having to clean my room or do laundry
7. being a teeneager and not caring about responsibility
8. the ability to sleep for long hours at a stretch
9. being in love, and being loved, unconditionally
   
10. living in a hostel/dorm and bunking classes
    

the letter 'S'..

an interesting voluntary tag from addict's blog.. this is how it works.. in your comment to this post, ask for a letter, which i will give you as a reply to your comment. then write ten words beginning with that letter, and explain the story or meaning or relevance of those words to you.. then pass out some letters too! addict gave me 'S'..

1. sport - i love sports, and love watching and playing whatever i can. among my fave sports are soccer, football, rugby and ice-hockey.
2. scotch - this is a taste i picked up from my dad, considering it was his scotch i was drinking! i am still trying to develop my own preference.. highland, lowland, islay, single malt, single blend etc.
3. steak - this actually covers my passion for meat, in all its forms and shapes and avtars! i'll cook it, grill it, smoke it, eat it and hell yeah, i'll beat it too!
4. shirts - i simply love shirts, and by shirts i mean formal shirts, not t-shirts, of which i have another huge collection! i am not a big fan of shopping for shirts, but i will wear them definitely! i have over 30 shirts, all arranged in my wardrobe according to their hue on the color spectrum. yes, you read that right!
5. smoking - this is an on-again, off-again topic in my life. i got off smoking the heavier stuff long back, and cut down my regular smoking down to none a day.. then here at my work place my whole team smokes, and i just sit around for company. but then we had one really shitty day last week and i mooched a couple off them.. the fight continues.
6. sentiment - i am a sentimental guy. i find it hard to let go. things move on, people do too, and i still hold on some times. i make no excuses for it, i just care too much. it hurts me more often than not, but i never learn.
7. sleep - there is little i hold more dear than sleep! and how i sleep is an indicator of how my life is going, much like a barometer. when all is well and things are stable, i can sleep 7-8 hours at a stretch. when things are not going so good, i sleep in 2-3 hour shifts, tossing and turning, lying awake haunted by my mind.
8. satire - nothing turns me on like intelligent satire. wit is an important part of my life, i use it, and like to hear it used too. a sense of humor is the most important character trait i look for in anyone, be it colleague, friend, or lover.
9. sincerity - this is such an important thing. i only say what i mean, and like to hear only what people mean too. often speaking my mind and being brutally honest and self-critical has comeback to haunt me big time, but i have never regretted it. honesty is of paramount importance to me.
10. storms - these are another turn-on. storms turn me on, make me passionate, eloquent and romantic. they bring out a different side to me. rain pelting down, lightning streaking through the sky and Alice In Chains or Tool playing loud.. at a moment like that i could step out to the balcony, and make my dreams and ambitions come true, or die trying.
    

about me

Your Band Name is:

The King of Ninjas

Band Name Generator

What Kind Of Drunk Are You?

You're An Alcoholic

Drunk Type Generator

What Kind Of Kisser Are You?

You're A Freaky Kisser When you kiss, you want to experience something new A new technique, a new partner, a new piercing... And your own personal kissing style is very unpredictable There's no saying where your tongue or hands will go

Kisser Type Generator

The Underwear Oracle

What Your Underwear Says About You When you're bad, you're very bad. And when you're good, you're still trouble! You are childlike, and prone to run around in your underwear

The Underwear Oracle

tasty tag!

got tagged by Blazngfyre on this one, and it looks like lots of fun too! so here goes, 10 totally titillating tidbits.. how about those then eh?! ;-)

1) during a family x-mas party, i saw half a bottle of beer, and wondered what all the hype was, so i knocked it back bottoms up. felt really light and refreshed after that. i was told i asked santa if i could have more the next year! i was in grade 4.

2) one of my favourite tv shows growing up was Benny Hill.. dirty ol' man!! it was a bit odd though, cos my dad and i would sit and roll with laughter watching girls in undies being chased around trees!

3) i really admire a girl who can hold her drink. and even more so one who can sit with the boys and smoke a bowl. and not get all sobby and stuff. of course, if she feels the need to remove clothing, who are we to complain?!

4) when i was 16 i had an instant crush on a stewardess on a flight i was on. everytime i willed myself to speak to her though, my tongue refused to co-operate. she smiled knowingly when i left the plane, and my legs turned wobbly!

5) i think the hardest thing ever for a guy to do is to tell a girl he likes her, and wants to ask her out. it definitely is for me!

6) when i was in grade 6, a friend flicked his brother's stack of Playboys. we promptly redistributed them to the class. i didn't have to do my own homework for the next month at least!

7) a girl in black, and a 'come-hither' smile, will always have me hooked. like a fish. on a short line.

8) i still don't know how i got to grad school without ever getting suspended, for various things.. rigging school elections, making out in the library, switching two teachers' car license plates, setting off fireworks in school toilets, stealing the headmaster's goldfish, etc etc!

9) when working as an intern mechanic, i slowed down work on a female customer's car so that she would be back again the next day. she was very hot, i should be forgiven!

10) i turn into a babbling incoherent blob when the gf looks into my eyes, puts her hands on me, and goes "miaowww".. hehe!

hehe, so there you go, that was me.. and now some tasty tempting treats for some of you.. Sanny, Ektz, Little Eyes, Nick and Kfarmer.. you know you wanna do it!