great idea #29

in this era of recycling and all that environment-consciousness, something i see every day really bothers me. why the heck do we waste so much wood, money and other resources on making spanking white envelopes? we're already making greetings cards, place-cards and all sorts of other paperware out of some sort of recycled paper, then why stop at envelopes?

the one place i saw recycled brown paper envelopes turned out to be a bitter disappointment because it was one of them fancy-ass handicraft places that actually charged about a buck per envelope! which brings me to my other point, about how 'the man' never makes it easy for people to recycle and actually give a hoot about the environment. so everyone has to either go an extra step to recycle plastic, cans and glass or worse, actually pay more to get what should be a government and private industry sponsored service! is that hypocritical of me to expect at least that from the big corporations?!

The State of Massachusetts aka great idea #69

i refer not to the song by The Dropkick Murphys, the erstwhile unknown but now wildly popular south-boston-irish punk rockers (side note - if you've watched the movie 'The Boondock Saints' then you know what i'm talking about).. and if you haven't heard the song either, then here goes.. of course, if you haven't even heard of the band, then firstly shame on ye lassies and laddies, and secondly here is the song you might know (psst - it was on the soundtrack to the Scorsese movie 'The Departed')

aye, getting back to what i had started saying in the first place.. i think i have the solution to the state debt that the people in the city council have run up with all those fancy-assed projects that they came up with (The Big Dig, etc).. there's a bunch of toll booths here in the city, getting on and off the interstate, in and out of Logan airport and bunches of places. you've all seen the the express lane on the right in any toll booth in the country for people with the passes or stickers or some thingies.. tolls here vary from 50c. to a few bucks at other places.


well, how about a lane on the left then, where there is a fixed $5 toll, and for that princely sum, the occupants of the vehicle get to see titties? simple enough dontcha think.. pull up to the window.. drop your fiver into the bin.. hot chick raises her shirt and gives 'em a good shake rattle and hum.. and the driver drives away having had an eyeful and some boob-induced joie de vivre, with none of the default cussing of the state and road rage that usually happen when passing through a tollbooth..

(image censored because this is not the page for your porn fix, but that one is!)

great idea #129

think about this, a sleek shiny pole right in the middle of the living room in your bachelor pad. you know that no girl who ever comes to your place can resist giving it a shot! i mean, is that a brilliant idea or what?! unfortunately i cannot claim copyright on this idea..

i know Bud Light made an ad for it, but this has been every man's cream-dream for eons and eons.. ok, at least since cavemen invented the rod after they invented the wheel, looked at the rod, looked amongst themselves, then looked at their womenfolk, then looked at each other again, grinned and went "urgh urgh hehehe!"

someone even went a step further and designed a coffee table with a stripper pole built in! now isn't a useful idea! and just to show you that people have indeed utilized brain cells in the pursuit of this noble endeavor, you can actually buy a portable one!

great idea #79

it's a well-known fact that guys like nothing more than to see chicks get naked, preferably real life girls as opposed to in porn - agreed?

so here is a surefire method of making sure that happens.
put a weighing scale in your living room.
preferably the kind you have to bend over to read the numbers.

i hear you asking me how the two statements above are related? well, no self-respecting gal who cares about her weight will ever get on a scale with her clothes on.

funny, this idea sounded much better yesterday after five beers.. hmm