Blog Action Day

damn, i missed this.. blog action day was on October 15th. i like their slogan -

Blog Action Day!- "What would happen if every blog published posts discussing the same issue, on the same day?

One issue. One day. Thousands of voices. The issue is the environment. The date is October 15."

check out their blog if you want to know what it was all about.. the issue at hand was the environment - y'all already know how i feel about this topic, and what each one of us can do to make a contribution

oh yeah, i'm really glad Gore & the U.N.'s Intergovernmental Panel won the Nobel Peace Prize. it's recognition for their efforts, not at trying to tell anyone what to do, but just trying to get us all to pay a little more attention to the environment and what we are doing to it.. it's like a jug of water sitting on the table, and we're looking at it, but no one's reaching forward and picking it up... get up, do something dammit!

an inconvenient truth

how do you feel about the environment in general? how do you feel about global warming as an issue? how much do you know about the issue? have you tried to learn more? have you taken any steps to save the environment? do you sometimes feel that as a single person whatever you do will not make an impact? what if everyone in the world thinks like you, and therefore doesn't do a thing? think about that.

everyone can do something about it. here's 10 things you can do immediately that will start making a difference today to your carbon dioxide emission contribution..

ignoring the fact that global warming is here today, and is making a huge impact even as we speak, makes you as much of an ignorant, profiteering, morally bankrupt idiot as George W. Bush and the people in his administration. if you read or watched or heard a news item about global warming and said to yourself "Not my business", then you are guilty. yes, guilty. this is your business. you can do something about it. you are morally responsible the second you read this line. now. and for every minute you live after you read this, you are responsible for your actions, and their consequences to the environment. if you choose to ignore this, then i can only wish you a good night's sleep, because you must be really deaf to your conscience to be able to look yourself in the eye knowing that you did nothing to save this world, for ourselves and our children.

i take it you're still reading because this is something that interests you. i watched 'An Inconvenient Truth' today, i don't know why i had been putting it off. it's Al Gore's documentary about his struggles as he tries to tell the world about global warming. now all of you who know me also know that i am deeply distrustful of politicians and their gimmickry, but having been in science as long as i have, i was able to verify every one of the things he spoke about. in fact, i have no reason to believe the man, i hate his wife Tipper Gore with a passion, because of her stand on music censorship! but yet, this time, i had to listen to my conscience, because i am responsible for what i do, and the consequences.

what can you do? you can learn as much as you can about global warming. convince yourself first about the problem, before you try spreading the word. watch 'An Inconvenient Truth', get the DVD from somewhere. if you are in the US email me with your address and i will mail you a copy. go to the website. talk to people around you. believe it or not, you can make a difference.

pledge to do your part.. and thank you for reading this. this is your responsibility too now.

camels anyone?

some off my fave off-color jokes involve camels.. here are three of the best..

1)

This guy named Joe was going into the desert for a week and he needed a camel for the trip. Joe was a stranger to the desert but was able to locate a rent-a-camel office. Joe tells the rent-a-camel man that he will be making a long trip through the desert for one week. The rent-a-camel man says even his best camel can only go 4 days without water. After some discussion, the rent-a-camel man says "I don't like to suggest this, but you know a good camel can go an extra 3 days or more if he is bricked." Joe agrees to take the best camel. As he leaves the rent-a-camel office, the rent-a-camel man reminds Joe to brick the camel. Not wanting to display his ignorance, Joe doesn't ask about the procedure for bricking the camel. Well Joe knows that it is a long difficult trip for the camel and lets it eat and drink its fill. He encourages the camel to take on all the water it can by offering it often. Sure enough 4 days into the trip the camel drops dead.

Poor Joe barely makes it back to town alive and can't wait to confront the rent-a-camel man. "You rented me a poor camel", Joe says, "It died after only 4 days in the desert, and I almost perished with it." The puzzled rent-a-camel man looks up at Joe and says, "He was my best camel. Did you brick him?" Mad as hell, Joe replies, "Brick him, what the hell do you mean?!" The rent-a-camel man explains that when the camel bends over to take water, you take two bricks and slam his balls, as the camel gasps with his head in the water he takes on another 3 to 4 day supply of water. "My God!", Joe says, "Doesn't that hurt?" The rent-a-camel man answers, "No! Just keep your thumbs out of the way when you slam the bricks together."

2)

After enlisting in the French Foreign Legion, Joe found that he sorely missed the company of a woman. One day while on guard duty, he asked his buddies what they do when they need a woman. They both chuckled and pointed over to where the camels were kept. Joe thought about it for awhile but decided that it wasn't for him. After several more weeks passed, Joe reluctantly decided he would give his friend's suggestion a try. After the first time it became easy, and Joe visited the camels frequently. Sure enough one night, Joe was discovered doing the wild thing with the camels. His friend yelled, "Joe what do you think you're doing?" Joe was embarrassed and tried to explain, "But you were there, you guys told me to use the camels." Joe's friend laughed, "Yeah Joe, but we usually ride the camels into town and find a woman."

3)

Joe was stranded on an oasis in the desert with his camel for a long time. He hadn't seen a woman for so long that he became interested in mounting the camel. He would set up a box behind the camel, climb up on the box and attempt to mount it. And every single time, the camel would just take a few steps forward. After trying this technique over and over for several days, Joe became increasingly frustrated and obsessed with his desire for the camel. So obsessed in fact that he hardly noticed this beautiful young woman who had luckily found the oasis. She came over to him, and gasped "Oh my God, I am so glad I find this place, tell me what I can do for you, you have saved my life!" Joe looks her up and down, in her skimpy, bedraggled outfit, and then says, "No, there's nothing you can do." So she says, "Are you sure? I will do anything, I really will!" Finally Joe relents and asks "Can you hold the camel for me?"

what women want

finally someone tells it as it is, the Ten Commandments, what men really want to hear from their women! and written by a guy no less.. from the horse's mouth et al (from Yahoo Health, by David Zinczenko)

1. "Your arms are definitely looking bigger."


Men can be just as paranoid about the way their bodies look as women can be. In fact, nearly 90 percent of men say there's at least one body part they'd like to change.


2. "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha."


Guys spend all of high school, most of college, the better part of the work day, and at least 12 times a day via e-mail trying to make people laugh. A hearty, genuine laugh is as flattering as it gets.


3. "Wow."


Doesn't matter whether it comes as he's getting undressed or after you've finished having sex, this short, sweet word (best done in a whisper) may just be the ultimate ego-stroke.


4. "You the man."


Guys hear this all the time. From other guys. But if it comes from a woman -- no matter the context -- the message is that, hey, we're buddies, too. Which is actually pretty darn sexy.


5. "The kids just adore you."


More than 50 percent of men say that their families -- more so than work and salary -- are what defines them most as men. So when a woman affirms that he's a familial hero, it's a compliment that stretches way beyond anything you could ever say about his haircut.


6. "What do you think?"


When neither can concede on anything - whether it's the best way to move a piece of furniture or the fastest way to reach the interstate - then this is a good impasse-breaker.


7. "Cute feet."


Typically, guys care for the word "cute" about as much as Paris Hilton cares for the penal system. One exception: The part of the body that is classified as being especially gross. Tell a guy he has good feet, and somehow he takes it as a double-bagger compliment -- that you not only like his genetics, but also that you appreciate he can keep himself better groomed than the rest of the gnarly-nailed heathens out there.


8. "Meow."


The stats show that 61 percent of men think their partners aren't sexually adventurous enough. While a feline one-liner doesn't automatically qualify as adventurous, it does show a bit of inhibition, and the message is one he likes to hear: That perhaps he's brought a little bit of the animal out of you.


9. "Impressive."


Guys love feats and they love being acknowledged for their strength, power, and their masculinity. So a well-timed observation like this one - whether it comes after he carries a TV to the family room or figures out a way to fix the pipes without having to call the plumber - feeds into his need to feel like the family protector.


10. "I want you."


Women don't need to go on about a guy's eyes or hair or clothes. What a guy really wants to hear is that he's the total package, and this acknowledgement of that - whether it's referring to bedroom behavior or relationship stability - is the ultimate compliment of them all.

what are you drinking?

if you've been reading or watching on the news about the apparent scandal with bottled water.. then this should help clear your doubts. i had a couple of friends who came up to me with the news article they read, and were asking what it's all about.. (reference article)

Pepsi-Cola announced Friday that the labels of its Aquafina brand bottled water will be changed to make it clear the product is tap water.

The new bottles will say, "The Aquafina in this bottle is purified water that originates from a public water source," or something similar, Pepsi-Cola North America spokeswoman Nicole Bradley told CNN.

The bottles are currently labeled: "Bottled at the source P.W.S." Americans spent about $2.17 billion on Aquafina (14.7% market share, making it the leading bottle water brand) last year, according to Beverage Digest, an independent company that tracks the global beverage industry. The U.S. bottled water business in 2006 totaled roughly $15 billion, it said.

so all the fuss now is about the picture on the Aquafina label that has a mountain on it and this is apparently deceiving people into thinking that Aquafina is actually from some mineral spring somewhere.. bloody idiots, read the fuckin' label - its says purified drinking water!! there's also a PWS symbol on it on the back that means bottled from a public water source!

this really pisses me off, when people don't look carefully at what they're picking up, and then want to get their panties all up in a bunch cos there is no one but themselves to blame.

if you did have any genuine doubts though.. Aquafina is actually as pure as distilled water, cos it undergoes reverse osmosis, which takes all minerals and trace elements out of it, leaving you with just good ol' pure H₂O. so feel free to pick up a case of Aquafina any time you want, without wondering about how safe it is.. of course, if you live anywhere in the North-Eastern US then you can have the peace of mind knowing that all Aquafina has been personally passed by me.. lol (ok ok, terrible water joke, but it was begging to be told!)

not a new topic

like the concept of 'tough love', here's another theme that has over the years become ingrained in popular culture - 'the 5 stages of grief/loss/change'. the three have been pooled together only because the three emotions are often interwoven.. i'll leave you to dig out the history and all that by following the wiki link given.. i think i have mentioned these here before but i can't for the life of me remember when

so as you can see, these five stages generally represent what happens any time a normal (or not so normal either) person is placed in a situation where there is loss..
- denial - "hell no! this is not happening!"
- anger - "what the fuck?!"
- bargaining - "oh come on, pleaaase?"
- depression - "aww man i'm so fuuucked"
- acceptance - "i'll live.. so what's next?"

now if your car just gave up the ghost on you, then it looks like this..
- denial - "what do you mean it won't start?!"
- anger - "start you fuckin' piece of shit!"
- bargaining - "please start, please, just one more time?"
- depression - "i'm going to get fired when i get late today"
- acceptance - "can i call someone for a ride? cab it maybe?"

if it's the girlfriend who just packed a suitcase and went a-walking out..
- denial - "of course i didn't say that i wouldn't go down on you"
- anger - "fine! get lost bitch! and don't come back!"
- bargaining - "i'm sorry honey, i had no idea what i was saying, please stay!"
- depression - "she's never coming back. i'll never get laid again"
- acceptance - "errm, let's see if i can pick up a crack whore at the mall"

finally, if you do the job that i do, at the factory 3 a.m. every morning..
- denial - "i don't care, today will be a good day, we'll get high efficiencies!"
- anger - "fuck you, you fucking hunk of metal. fuck the fuckin' shit! gah!"
- bargaining - "please darling, just run today, i'll grease you lovingly tomorrow"
- depression - "i give up, this thing will never run again"
- acceptance - "i'm going to go have a cigarette break, if it runs it'll run.."

sex, drugs & .. statistics?!

was reading this article on CNN.com a couple of weeks back.. it documented the results of drug use and sexual behavior as reported by adults in the US for the last few years. the blurb to the paper can be found here, but i have highlighted a few salient points here, only because they are interesting enough to give you some kind of perspective to your own lives..

• 29 percent of American men report having fifteen or more female sexual partners in a lifetime, while only 9 percent of women report having sex with fifteen or more men.
• the median number of lifetime female sexual partners for men was seven and the median number of male partners for women was four
• about 96 percent of U.S. adults have had sex; about 11 percent of never-married adults had remained chaste
• 16 percent of adults first had sex before age fifteen, while 15 percent abstained from sex until at least age twenty one
• adults who were married or had more than a high school education were less likely to use street drugs than others
• 26 percent of men and 17 percent of women have tried cocaine or other street drugs (not including marijuana) at some time in their life
• the proportion of people ever using cocaine or street drugs did not vary by poverty level; however, individuals living at twice or more times the poverty level had the lowest percentage of past use
• past year use of cocaine or street drugs increased as the age group became younger, with the youngest age group (20–29 years) having the highest prevalence

whale tail?!

there is no shortage of websites dedicated to the female form, but some sites never cease to amuse, titillate and otherwise coax you quite unwillingly out of boredom.. unfortunately most of these sites also carry a Not Safe For Work label, so they remain a guilty pleasure you indulge in at home. now, you must be slightly confused now as to what the picture on the right and name of the post have to do with the female of the species, but bear with me, all shall be clear in the next few lines..


now i had mentioned muffin-tops a while back.. this apparently accidental fad that was all over the place, where slightly portly girls start spilling out of their lo-rider jeans while insisting on wearing low-cut tops. here is an article from the NY Daily News that spoke of the phenomenon.. Wiki also had a piece on it. now one of the reasons why i really like wiki is that it always has this section at the bottom (pun unintended, heh!) for 'See Also', which links related items and the like. for articles on music this section is very informative because you can learn some history about the band, the genre and find other bands of the same genre too, and other miscellaneous trivia that you never knew.

so going back to this wiki page, i found links to various terms we all know.. cleavage, lower back tattoo, bellyshirt.. and then i saw two other terms - one was camel toe, which we've all seen and enjoyed (yes, you might as well admit it!) in its various forms. that brought me to this site, which reminded me that i hadn't been there in dog's years! warning, this last link is NOT work-safe.. trust me, i'm at home now!

the second term that really caught my attention was whale tail.. now here was a term that i had not heard before, and that i think takes some doing considering i've been a highly-touted bird-watcher and surveyor of the female form over the years! so apparently a well-placed wedgie is also known as a whale-tail, thanks to the similarity between the hips' curves and the flukes on a diving whale. further research (o boy i love that word 'research'.. it could mean doing anything!!) led me to this hallowed site, which again is not work-safe in the least.. i scoured through the pages in the pursuit of the perfectly-shaped yet candidly-taken pics of the whale-tail, tell me honestly if these do not tell you why this vision shouldn't be called a 'whale-tail'?!

the birds & the bees!

here's a funny thought - you know how you always hear about the 'birds and bees' story with regards to sex ed and all that? well, one day it hit me.. that i'll be 28 in a few months, and not only did i never get that talk from my parents, but i still don't know what the birds and bees are a reference to!!! now put your hands up all of you who are with me on that!

so with that in mind i went to the all knowing oracle and purveyor of free information aka the internet, and it's representative Google. putting 'birds and bees' as the search string is quite useless.. because most sites here seem to assume that everyone knows what that enigmatic term refers to! so i started thinking, and as you all know, that has not been much help in the past!

the birds i assume refer to the girls of course.. as in "check out that hot bird!" or "did you see that chick?!" so are the guys bees then? umm.. buzzing around, stinging unsuspecting girls?! then again, isn't that bizarre? are you sure you wanna teach children about sex by telling them stories of inter-species erotica? is that really the right way to do it?!

then i read somewhere that the full story is actually 'the birds and the bees and the butterflies'.. and then i was really lost! wouldn't it really just be easier to tell the kids the truth, the whole truth and nuthin but the truth once they hit pre-teens?

the key theory in management

i have a theory, that when you are in management, especially at a production facility, the number of keys you are straddled with at your workplace has a direct relationship with where you are and where you are going on the corporate ladder.

lower management - no one trusts you, yet. so you only get the basic keys, outer office, supply room, etc. it will take you a while, or a few promotions to start becoming responsible for more.

middle management - you are becoming a more important cog in the machine, so you carry more keys. there are the master keys to all outer doors, machine operations, training and meeting rooms, records office, etc. an unfortunate fallout of this is that you are expected to be on call much more in case the plant needs to be shut down on vacations and things like that.

upper management - you are back to minimal keys again, as you are not encumbered by carrying big bunches of keys. when you need the keys you can always get someone who works for you to open stuff up, so you are back to carrying a couple of masters, that's it!

the number of keys on my bunch keeps increasing by the week, so i guess i can say i am headed up the slope now.. let's see how far this goes.

windy ain't it?

i love windy days, sample this conversation..

Guy: Wow, isn't it windy today?
Gal: It's thursday actually.
Guy: Thanks, i just had some tea.
Gal: Oh you went to the sea?
Guy: What do you want to see?

thank God for the rain and breeze, it's been really hot and muggy!

what does it mean?

i have this recurring dream, where i am playing soccer.. sometimes my fellow players are friends and family, sometimes it's a professional big-league with some of my idols. and in every dream, usually at a crucial juncture.. my legs turn to lead and i can't run fast enough, as if my feet were stuck in wet mud, and the ball rolls further and further away.. hard as i try to chase after it, it's all to no avail.

waking up from this dream always leaves me despondent, and a dark foreboding always clouds my mind as i start the day. can anyone help me out with a few suggestions as to what it might mean?

one human soul, going cheap!

ever since i moved, i've been looking out on craigslist for stuff for my apartment.. today i found something that only reinforced my belief that the internet is pretty much crawling with all sorts of wackos and nut-jobs too! check this ad out..

seriously? this guy is advertising his soul for sale? that too for $32?? correct me if i'm wrong but the last tim i checked the devil was offering more than that wasn't he?!

men & women

recently my parents called. ever since they got the extension in place, we have these conference calls, once a month usually. i discourage them from calling more often, cos with the time difference they usually catch me on sunday mornings. at noon on sunday i'm still clearing cobwebs from last night's booze and the rumbling from the tummy is saying "hey, wasn't there some wings left over from last night?!"

so ever since these three-way conversations started, i started remembering things about my folks. i can be excused for forgetting, cos it's been seven years since i lived at home, and in those seven years a lot of brain cells have been sacrificed at the altar of hedonism. more on that some other time. the one thing that i was reminded of was the difference between men and women.

men are basic. women love details. and that's how it is. men don't like little things, simple questions, and simple answers. which is why when women ask men too many questions, they reply "uhhmidunno". that one word pretty much answers everything. sample this:

mom: "son, so what's the status with your job and thesis? what're you gonna do after you're done. dad, why don't you tell him what he should do."
dad: "uhhmidunno."
me: "well ma, i had just planned on being here in buffalo and keep..."
mom: "wait, your dad has some ideas on what you can do. go on, tell him."
dad: "uhhmidunno."
mom: "come on! no wonder he's so messed up! tell him what you did when you were his age."
dad: "ok ok. boy, you got it covered?"
me: "yeah dad, it's cool."
mom: "i'll never understand you men!"
dad: "uhhmidunno."
me: "uhhmidunno."

so you see, basic. when a guy says he got it done, he's got it done. women love to know the little things, which i ain't saying is bad, but its just how things are. and when a guy tries to get to that detail level like women, then he better be prepared. you wanna start talking the talk then you better be prepared to walk that talk too. every time i tried to really talk to a woman, i'm just left thinking that man i must be some sorta retard. hell, i never thought of things the way she does?!

so when things start getting way too deep for me, i just wanna step back, cos i have no idea how to deal with all these emotions. for me it was always good mood (when my football team wins, and when the girl and i agree on what to eat), and bad mood (when the football team gets whipped, and the girl ain't talking to me). so i guess i gotta be prepared to start answering some questions, and dealing with detail. uhhmidunno.

"Good Times, Bad Times" - Led Zeppelin

nothing quite like the tough times that tell a man who his true friends are. they are the ones who stand up and are ready to be counted alongside him. they show themselves, and do not pretend they have no idea what he is talking about. there is no hiding in the sidelines for this breed of friend, for they know when they are needed, and they show up, in one way or another.

to those of you, who know you are The Outlaw Torn's friends.. i thank you, sincerely.

dark spring

spring is the time life bursts forth, as bright green shoots dig their way out of thawing soil, and the sun peeks out from the blanket of clouds. blue skies make for cheery mornings and the new warmth in the air entices flower buds to peep shyly out of green calyces. birds return from their long sojourns south with a burst of song and nosy chatter while hungry squirrels scurry up and down trees digging up goodies buried away safely before the onset of the chill.

but sometimes the winter drags on. snowflakes whip around like little ice stars, digging and biting into exposed skin. the steel-grey clouds roil around like a tempest in the sky and the wind rushes forth like a messenger that bodes ill. plants try as they might but find no succour in the frozen ground. little birds that made the exhausting journey back huddle in disappointed clumps on branches and telephone lines. confused squirrels, thin and weak, trudge along the ground, looking up at the sky in vain desperation.

still, there is no hope forthcoming.

the truth

8:31

Then said Jesus to those which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed;

8:32

And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.

8:33

They answered him, We be Abraham's seed, and were never in bondage to any man: how sayest thou, Ye shall be made free?

8:34

Jesus answered them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin.

John Chapter 8 Verses 31-34

y'all know that i've never pushed religion down your throats, and neither have i professed any preference in my choice of religion. just that some things i was thinking of, and i got thinking about the truth, and how we handle it. i got carried back some twelve years and five thousand miles, to a little chapel in a catholic high school. the lights were dim, the incense was calming, the boys of the class sat there silently as Father Paul's deep baritone boomed across the vaulted arches.. ".. and the truth shall set you free.."

next time you feel a conflict building inside of you, and aren't sure what to choose.. even though the truth sounds like the harder path to follow, it usually works itself out in the end. at least, i wanna believe so!

artsy-fartsy!

how often is it that you anticipate a friday night, planning it for a while, thinking of things to do, and then when the time comes, go ahead and jump into it headlong, carpe dieming it?! well, friday night we did.. planning a great night ahead, which started with a trip to an art museum, then dinner at a lebanese restaurant (including bellydancing!!), followed with possible hanging out at a pub somewhere.

now i'd like to say that i am a step above your average engineer, in the sense i try to appreciate the more artistic things in life, and that i don't view everything i see in newtons and meters per square centimeter. so confident in the knowledge that i would be in touch with my more art-appreciative side, we ventured to the Albright-Knox Museum. 45 minutes later, all i was really glad about was that it was free friday, and that i had paid no money to get in there. there was nothing there that caught the eye, nothing i found interesting. in fact, most of the 'art' there was stuff i could make while scratching my left ear, and would not even raise an eyebrow. how spectacular do you find this?

this is 'Untitled', by XXX (name protected for reasons of safety, his safety!!)

i just whipped this up on MS Paint in a matter of two minutes. i hear this piece of art was donated to the museum, and is in the range of some five figure sum (in dollars, with the decimal point after five digits mind you).

now you can see why i left this edifice in quite a huff. it also didn't help there was some latin dance shindig happening there, which i find quite the odious punishment, especially when most of the attendance comprises geriatric folk not far removed from a one-way ticket to the big dancehall in the sky, and also the fact that i would rather be there with the gf.

so A-Rod and i landed up back at home, with some buffalo wings and pizza, and a movie to watch.. and definitely no belly-dancing et al. sometimes it's good to make a change, but mostly i wouldn't mind being myself, the non-artsy-fartsy guy.