s! the outlaw torn

as other weekends go, this one was much better than the last few. i didn’t spend all of it lying around in bed or on the couch downstairs. i only spent most of it lying around in bed or on the couch downstairs. saturday we had some absolutely glorious weather, the sun shone bright and it was warm outside (that means 5C). sank and i went out to a local dive-bar called Broadway Joe’s.. where we knew the guy at the gate, so not only did we pay no cover, we also drank free mostly!

Broadway Joe’s is pretty famous actually, showing up on Stuff magazine’s list of 20 Best Dive Bars in the country.. the description is pretty grim, the place even grimmer. of the three bands that played.. one was really bad, one was ok, and one had potential. the positive rankings were awarded thanks to the number of beers we had downed, and also cos they saved the night by playing Pearl Jam’s ‘Last Kiss’ thereby saving themselves from eternal damnation. but if you are an up and coming band, then it’s a great place to come and get some live gigs in, and hopefully score with one of the endless muffin-topped bimbettes that Buffalo seems to produce by the droves.

one really great thing about Buffalo is that bars stay open till 4 a.m. so even the rest of Main Street is alive until then, including the food places. what better way to end a drunken night than cramming yourself with greasy meat laden with molten cheese on fresh bread?! Jim’s Steakout is a Buffalo tradition.. and their steak hoagy is to die for, and also to die from!! hehe!!

woke up on sunday morning, feeling all trashed out.. looked out and saw it raining like it was going out of fashion, so put on the Pearl Jam and promptly went back to bed. good times.

got these off Bored.com, you can tell i was pretty bored! these are all true New York state laws..

• A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking “at a woman in that way.”
• A license must be purchased before hanging clothes on a clothesline.
• Citizens may not greet each other by “putting one’s thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers”.
• Donkeys are not allowed to sleep in bathtubs in Brooklyn, N.Y.
• It is against the law to throw a ball at someone’s head for fun.
• It is illegal to jump off the Empire State building.
• New Yorkers cannot dissolve a marriage for irreconcilable differences, unless they both agree to it.
• You may only water your lawn if the hose is held in your hand.

and here’s my favorite..

• The New York City Transit Authority has ruled that women can ride the city subways topless, since women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business.

sometimes i glimpse the end, it shows itself in short flashes
but i keep my head down, false expectations lead to crashes

the paths there are myriad, the chances of getting lost high
the correct road there one, and the minutes ticking away nigh

so we’ll meet again, when the sun shines right
when it will rain, and the stars sparkle bright
snows dull the pain, in the dead of the night
my lips you’ll stain, in my brain you’ll light

on the other side, where it’s always greener
a fancy-filled ride, a thought that’s clearer
alcohol never lied, trips made so much dearer
hits that never died, highs that were nearer

so here’s a toast to all of you lighting up

whoa.. had a very weird dream last night..
i had a run-in with a sexy vampire..
she was hot, horny, and very very scary..
and her blood-lust was quite unnerving!!

anyone explain what that dream was all about?!

i love the word ‘knock’.. it’s such a flexible word, and can be used in so many situations. who knew that knocking boots didn’t actually refer to footwear, but action two feet higher up?! of course, you’re in for the knock then if you knock a girl up, cos sure as hell her daddy’s gonna come knockin’ on a few doors! just cos she has a great pair of knockers doesn’t mean you should knock more than a kiss! hey, it’s a hard-knock life.

but if her daddy catches you then he’s gonna knock you silly, knock you out, knock you cold or knock you dead. or maybe you could knock him for a loop and disappear.. that’d knock him. you knock things you don’t like, but don’t knock ‘em before you try ‘em. if you don’t like the job then knock some money off the top, or knock over the cash till, but if you get busted then you’re knocked. the cops are gonna knock seven bells outta you if you don’t confess, and in jail you sure as hell are gonna get your ass knocked. you have to take the knocks for your actions.

when i’m hungry i knock together a few things in a pan, and sit with a beer or two to knock back. but if i knock more than four then i get really knocked. i like me a good dark beer, not the cheap-ass knockoffs. it’d be great to get a job where i can knock off some time in the afternoons for a siesta, they wouldn’t knock me for it unless i was knocking on deadlines of course! and when i’d knock off on friday night, i’d knock the boys together and we’d go knock some knees and shake some boo-tay.

all this knocking, if i add a section on knock-knock jokes we could knock off a book here! maybe i should knock it off,and just go knock back and relax. and always remember the trailerpark etiquette: don’t come knockin’ if the trailer’s rockin’..